Making Oats and Keeping the Peace

UPDATE: This post was written prior to my discovery of a paleo type diet. My opinions on how to achieve optimal nutrition and wellness have changed.

My lady doesn’t watch what she eats, is skinny, and in great health. Hate her? It’s ok. Those feelings are natural. Don’t worry, when the next ice age hits and she dies of frost bite, we can use her long body as a spear to hunt woolly mammoths.

In the meantime, we have a difference of opinion on how to doctor oats. My Lady wants to eat her oats like a bowl of funnel cake- covered in butter, milk, and brown sugar. I have gone the other extreme. Au #%$^@ naturale. Here is my heart friendly version of oats that does not taste like paste (you’ve tried it).

Ryan Wilder’s Nursing Home Oats

1. Ingredients: 1/2 cup oats, diced apple, pinch of raisins and almonds.

2. Start with one cup water in medium pan. Add apple, raisins, and almonds. Bring to a hot and steamy boil.

3. Add oats and continue to boil uncovered for 8 minutes.

4. Cover those oats and let them mellow for about five minutes.

5. Make your lady her greasy fried eggs and buttered toast to keep her happy.

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