I am 6′ 7”, ripped, and training for the Lumberjack World Championships. I can also do that trick where I bounce my titanic pectoral muscles up and down at will. Ladies?
Lies. I’m 5′ 6” and I live in a cubicle, but I do usually wear flannel and grow a beard come fall.
One of the dieting hurtles I need to clear is coming to terms with the fact that I am not a brawny lumberjack and I can’t eat like one. Maybe I’m coming to this realization now that I am in my thirties and have become more comfortable in my skin and aware of my limitations. I’ve come to a juncture where I need to leave the Paul Bunyan diet behind and learn a thing or two from the twee ladies in my life. You know the women I’m talking about. The ones like my lovely wife who order the entrée salad at the brew pub, are satisfied after a 210 calorie Lean Cuisine, find beer too “filling”, and prefer snacks meant for hamsters. Should I be eating more like a thin girl?
I don’t know if I can ever embrace Lean Cuisine as a viable lunch option, but I am willing to try some of the other tricks the skinny girl employs, like lots of teensy healthy snacks throughout the day and smaller portions at meals. I’ve been trying this out this week and I hate it. I still feel a little hunger after I snack and I’m never really satisfied. This has got me thinking about my eating behaviors in general. How often do I eat when I’m not hungry but just because I feel like it? Is comfort food the only way I have learned to feel satisfied when eating? The answers to the last questions are “all the time” and “yes”.
So I’ll learn the way of the thin gal, but I have serious concerns about being judged by the librarian when I check out a copy of Skinny Bitch today. She has an impeccable fashion sense and my skirt totally clashes with my shoes.